If all the world is a stage and we're just actors playing roles, then I need to have a serious talk with the director about my motivation for this part. (Braisco) http://www.humorcorner.com One day, I'm gonna finally get up enough courage to actually go skydiving, rather than just being thrown out of the plane like last time. (LeMel Hebert-Williams) Much to my surprise, the old "arrow through the head" gag resulted in nothing but compliments at the body piercing parlor. (Kevin Green) I was much happier before I found out that ignorance is bliss. (Peter Medhurst) I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach. (Bill Muse) I could write a whole book on the problems I've faced due to my bad memory, only thing is I can't remember most of them. (Sanjay) I bet one of the first uses of a time machine will be to combine it with a microwave oven, to make food cook even faster. (David Gunter) My life sucks so bad my ears pop just thinkin' about it. (Gary Smith) If I were a lawyer I would be mad at the other 99% who give the rest of them a bad name. (Rick Owen) Someone should make a car that runs on urine and has a tube to pee into while driving. With enough beer, you could make it clear across the country without stopping. (Christian Knudstrup)
=================================================================== [ Ruminations is a Top5 publication ] [ Copyright 2000, Chris White ] [ --- --- --- --- ] [ Please forward this message only in its entirety. ] [ Radio and television programs, magazines and newspapers ] [ *must* receive permission before using this material. ] [ --- --- --- --- ] [ Send your ruminations to: submit@ruminate.com. ] [ NOTE: We accept only 100% original, unpublished items. ] [ --- --- --- --- ] [ To kvetch at the owner: Send mail to chris@topfive.com ] ==================================================================
Home